A collection of meditative experiences -- in journal form, as well as any visualizations, practices, or techniques to extract. 

May 25, 2016

I'm in a contractual phase, and yet, in midst of meditation, I feel loved. 

I suddenly felt really drawn to my Celestite crystal. I wanted it really badly. I wanted body contact with it somehow during meditation. This time, I didn't want it at my feet or in my lap. I put it on top of my head! (Good reinforcement for a straight spine, I'll tell you that!)

So with that, I continued. I should also mention there was quite a thunderstorm outside, with lightning flickering readily which I could see even through eyelids. Maybe this would charge up my experience!

It's that essence, that feeling of reaching beyond the pinnacle point of light that your mind's eye can perceive. You reach that point of stillness in your mind, even while reaching. It's not putting forth effort, it's just recognizing, "I see that. Let's go there." Put your attention there, and go! You're there. 

Then you sit in stillness, and you wait. You breathe, you're totally conscious of everything, even thoughts chatter in the conscious mind. That's okay. Let it go. Continue that reaching for stillness. Like a wave pulsating with the breath. 

Then it really begins -- with the sensations -- and you know you're in a good place. Suddenly it's an immense stillness, a weight, a substance, in the pit of your being. It's dark because it doesn't really have form. But it's a core, and it feels so, so good. It feels inwardly connected to everything. 

You dive deeper and breathe. Feeling connected to this core and at the same time it's easier for the mind to feel lighter. You feel like you're stretching, stretching from within, connecting these poles of your being. 

More sensations. For me, the ultimate is that sweetness, of warm tingling honey or egg yolk slowly coming down the scalp, tingling like a warm electricity. Some buzzing, but again, this is beyond normal physical sensation. Then I feel like a presence has opened up within me. I don't hear anything, but I consciously attune my inner hearing to higher frequencies. It's that pinpointing feeling again with mind. I still don't sense anything or any messages beyond that, but I hold here, for a long time. Breathing. 

It's so immensely calming and comforting to be here. 

I can't even describe any more. I don't remember, but there's nothing to remember. I was in that experience and in that other state of mind beyond conscious, rational mind -- attuned to that state. I definitely felt it then. But wasn't taking any mental notes. So there. 

I felt really loved, I felt calm, and that there's more here. I will continue tomorrow. 

Sat nam ~

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